


world ain't half as bad as it looks

by 13luckystars



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Homophobia - mentioned, Light Hurt/Comfort, M/M, post book 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13luckystars/pseuds/13luckystars
Summary: After hearing a song Ty didn't know he needed to hear, he considers the reasons why the song hit him so hard.
Relationships: Zane Garrett/Ty Grady
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	world ain't half as bad as it looks

The opening notes of a song Ty had never heard before drifted through the speakers. That morning, as he and Zane had opened up the bookstore for the day, Ty had decided to just put on one of the curated For You playlists he kept getting notifications for on Spotify. He had quickly scrolled through the list just to see if he recognized anything and to see what kind of music they were in for for the day. The list, of course, had mostly been new to him songs that ranged all over genres, just like his usual taste.

Without much thought to it, Ty had pressed play and let the songs be through the day.

It was just past one o’clock now and Zane had left Ty at the store to go get them both food for lunch. Ty stood bent over at the counter, playing around on his phone to wait. He allowed himself now to pay attention to the music he had started playing that morning, out of nothing more than acute boredom.

The first lines of the song flowed over Ty, the voice of the artist familiar but not enough for a name or other songs to come to mind. It was a nice voice, regardless, low and just the right amount of twangy.

Ty tapped his foot as the voice sang about kids being able to have childhoods, the importance of forgiveness, and working hard. They were good messages, very aligned with most country music. Ty liked it so far, could see himself listening to it again. It gave him a hope that he lost too often, maybe the song could act as a reminder in those moments.

The music suddenly swelled, indicating to Ty that the chorus was coming. He turned his ear toward the speaker, interested to hear what would come next, interested to hear whether what came would ruin what he had liked so far.

The first three lines continued in a similar manner to the first verse. The overall belief that people are good, which Ty liked for the simple fact that he wanted to believe it. Then, believing in how amazing most mothers are. With his own mother, Ty couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment. He loved his mom deeply, knew she deserved the world. Then, the belief in how amazing Friday nights were when they were spent out or watching a football game. Ty thought, was viscerally transported, back to all of the football games he had played during school. Suddenly, he was reminded of the lights, the yelling, the adrenaline. That, too, he could agree with wholeheartedly.

Then, the next part of the chorus came, and Ty felt the wind knocked out of him.

_ I believe you love who you love, ain’t nothing you should ever be ashamed of _ .

Ty stood from where he had been casually leaning, every bit of movement to his body ceasing. The words and their meaning hit in an odd way, and that was all Ty was sure of. He didn’t understand the prickling he was experiencing up and down his arms, the way his chest had constricted, or the sudden urge to cry.

Instead of thinking about it, Ty pushed away the lyrics, focused back on the game on his phone and the instruments to the song. He ignored the undeniability that those words would come back around with the chorus.

For the next minute or so, Ty leaned tensely against the counter, his body reflecting the contradiction of his thoughts.

When the chorus came back, Ty was hit just as hard. But this time he struggled more to push away the tears.

By the end of the song, he was angrily swiping at his face, completely overcome by the way those stupid, stupid words hit him. He was an adult, he shouldn't have been brought to tears over something as stupid as a song.

At the back of his mind, Ty couldn't ignore the echoing  _ why _ . Why the words hit so hard. Why he was an adult being brought to tears by an acknowledgement, a permission, that he didn't need from a song.

The final notes played, the song seamlessly leading into a new one as if Ty was still the same man he had been three minutes and thirty eight seconds before. He took a deep, shaky breath, right as he heard the door to the bookstore open, undoubtedly bringing Zane and their lunch in.

"I brought subs," Zane said, a smile in his voice, and undoubtedly on his face if Ty could bring himself to look away from his phone. Zane was proud, on the brink of laughter, like he was every time he bought them subs.

Zane came closer, chattering on about the people that had been in the sub shop, how he had proudly made a pun to the poor teenage boy who had taken his order and had gotten a light chuckle in response, what exactly he had ordered for Ty. His words, his voice, spread over Ty, soothing him like a balm to a wound. He took another shaky breath, reached out and grabbed Zane by his thinned t-shirt, and brought him in for a hug.

Zane came willingly, brought his arms around Ty and squeezed, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Are you okay?"

Ty nodded. "I heard a song."

In response, Zane just nodded, as if this were completely normal. He didn't ask any questions, knowing Ty would share on his own terms. Instead of words though, Ty reached out with one hand, grabbed his phone, and turned the song back on. Wrapping himself as close to Zane as he could, Ty tried his hardest to ignore the song, to focus on the feeling of Zane in his arms.

When the song ended for the second time for Ty, Zane squeezed him again. "What about it?" he asked.

"I'm- I'm not sure. It caught me off guard."

"It's an emotional song."

"But the 'love who you love’ part."

Zane nodded, his cheek rubbing against the side of Ty's face. "Not that I'm saying country music is inherently homophobic, but it wasn't a line I was expecting."

"Me neither," Ty said, thinking of all the years he's listened to the music. How it flowed through the radio as he grew up, how it was always being hummed by his family members and himself. How he had spent years privately, uselessly, wishing that a country song could mention two men being in love.

And maybe that was it, Ty thought suddenly. Why he was so moved by the statement, even if it was the bare minimum. Country music meant something to him, meant something to his life, but didn't reflect a major part of who he was. He could hear it, could enjoy it and love it, but none of the more romantic songs could actually relate to his life, not without ignoring pronouns and stretching for representation.

Ty was tired of settling for the bare minimum, especially with Zane, the most important person in his life, in his arms.

"I didn't think I'd ever hear it," Ty responded, sharing his line of thought with Zane.

Zane nodded again. "Like I said, very unexpected."

Ty gave himself another few minutes to bask in Zane's warmth and love, before pulling away. He was fine, the song would probably continue to hurt, but he was fine overall. And the time for their lunch break was rapidly dwindling. Too soon they would have customers at their door, waiting to be let back in. Ty and Zane couldn't disappoint them over Ty's moment of country music inspired vulnerability.

"What did you get me?" Ty asked, reaching out for the sub, unwrapping it gently, suspiciously, as if waiting for a chipmunk to jump out at him.

All Ty had to do was look at Zane, see the wide smirk, and know exactly what his order was. Salami. Extra mayo.

Once Ty had unwrapped the sandwich and found exactly what he was expecting, with some added vegetables and lettuce, he grabbed a pepper and threw it at Zane. 

Even though the pepper hit Zane on the cheek, and even though Ty was feigning irritation, neither of them could hold back their laughter. In the security and love of their relationship, in the comfort and happiness of their bookstore, the song and the thoughts were forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I call Projection. 
> 
> Based off of Most People Are Good by Luke Bryan, title comes from that too.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!


End file.
